What is The Kindness Revolution?

Jono Fisher – the man behind The Kindness Revolution – states his mission is simple – to inspire greater kindness towards ourselves, towards each other and towards the natural world. There are already more than 30,000 Sydneysiders who are playing the game of pay-it-forward – anonymously doing something kind to someone and leaving a Kindness Card behind asking the receiver to do the same. The Kindness Cards are free from the WakeUpSydney website, and WakeUpSydney also holds regular, inspiring and beautiful events throughout the year.

It was a privilege and a delight, as always, to be part of a WakeUpSydney! event. And this Wednesday 20th April 2011, was particularly special, as it marked the 2nd Birthday of The Kindness Revolution here in Sydney, with the theme ‘Step Up and Lead’.

WakeUpSydney Salon with special guest, Jeff McMullen

As I commented on the night, I thought the Salon was one of the best yet. Jeff McMullen was so extraordinarily inspiring, fascinating, energizing, wise…. the list could go on. He made an enormous impact.

As a volunteer, I usually sit on the steps, somewhere mid-theatre and Wednesday night was no exception. What was exceptional was the rapt attention of the audience throughout the entire period Jeff was speaking – you could have heard a pin drop. The energy in the theatre was at once sacred yet secular, interpersonal yet also intrapersonal, representative of how we must honour and marry the sacredness that is our eternal soul, with the ‘secular’ nature of our current physical body – and to be fully awake as to what we do with it while we are here on Mother Earth.

With Jeff’s riveting descriptions of his work, ‘secular’ in most outward respects, there was this underlying, powerful current of the sacred  – how he has acted/ acts in regard to both ‘doing’ and ‘being’  with our fellow humans on this planet. Triggering all present to remember, re-connect, with our eternal essential nature (that never dies), and the knowing that it is with this supporting and inspiring us, that we can truly step up and lead.

Mindfulness, Awareness, Oneness

Jono, I loved your reflection on your experience in the still water between the wave sets – those exquisite moments of oneness when we know we are all connected, inextricably interlinked with the world all around us, and the parallel knowing that we must honour our role as custodians of this Earth with great care.

It is extraordinary how renewing such moments of mindfulness can be – they often take place in seconds –  and the depth of opportunity that is offered for gratitude when one is truly in and with the body, in that particular moment – no matter what it is. These are the exquisite moments of intrapersonal attunement that renew and refresh us. Those moments when our awareness becomes aware of awareness, so to speak.  Founder Jono Fisher’s vision to ‘(S)eed a new dream’ with The Kindness Revolution has come of age.

Don’t miss the next event!

See website for details    www.wakeupsydney.com.au

If you're new here and enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

The power of mindfulness meditation to reduce stress has long been scientifically proven and is well documented, but its power to create happiness and wellbeing, and to influence anti-ageing has been getting a lot of press in the last 6 months, with the ABC-TV series, Making Australia Happy, the SBS programmes Immortal, The Silent Epidemic, and Heartbreak Science (part of the BBC Secrets of the Human Body documentary series), books like Eight Steps to Happiness by Tony Grant and Alison Leigh, and The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris.
 
Mindfulness and mindfulness meditation – defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as ‘paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally’ –  is a core component in all of the above programs and publications.

Are you interested in reducing your stress? Living a happier, more meaningful, more fulfilling life? Anti-ageing?

Then come and experience the next Magic of Allowing Mindfulness weekend retreat in 2011. (See Workshops page of website for session dates and details.) It’s an experiential weekend in the art of conscious living, and a powerful opportunity for you to immerse yourself in the magic of mindfulness to transform your life and significantly reduce your stress.

If you are interested in learning the secrets and science of happiness, and improve your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, this could be the best investment you ever make.
 
This is what some have said after the recent Mindfulness retreats:

“Wow! We loved the weekend. We both feel it was life-changing.”
 - Paul and Sarah Saunders
 
“ I really feel I got a lot out of it… I’m going to pin up a few of the pieces you gave us on my pinboard, and attempt to ‘live in the moment’ a little more…” – Georgie Taylor
 
“I hadn’t realized how much I needed to do this until I was here.”
- Janet Harvey

“Well done on the very nurturing, healing and inspiring work you do. You are a gift!
- Jono Fisher, Wake Up Sydney!
 
“The weekend retreat had a most profound effect on me…. I made immediate changes to my life….. and work has never felt or been better.”
- Nick Bousie
 
“I walked away so excited, rejuvenated and more open to everything!!!”
- Jacki Bousie
 
“I would like to thank you profoundly for a beautiful and life-changing weekend. I was very touched by the whole experience.”
- Julie Parkinson

For more responses check out the attachment here, and/or check out the Testimonials page of this website.

“It is to realize myself that I live. People are always longing for someone to help them realize their best selves, to understand their hidden self, to believe in them.”
Kahlil Gibran

“I have always thought a Revelation is simply the discovery of an element in us, in our larger self, the self that knows what we do not know, and feels that which we dare not feel. And what we call growth is nothing but knowledge of that larger Self.”
Kahlil Gibran, letter to Mary Haskell, 1915

Do these have a ring of truth for you? If you would like to ‘realize your ‘best self’, to understand your ‘hidden self’ and for people to ‘believe’ in you, then a Magic of Allowing Mindfulness retreat weekend is a step along the way.

This article first published www.lifedivine.net

Some more ‘spot meditations’, this time oriented to those that may be as relevant for men as for women. ‘Spot’ or ‘Mini-Mindfulness’ Meditations work to defuse tension on the spot by bringing you right into the present. Note that they all involve tuning in to the world of the senses and allowing yourself to really notice what you are doing while you are doing it!

Tuning in to the present moment this way can rejuvenate soul, mind and body in seconds. The power of the present moment cannot be overestimated.

TRY: doing a mini-mindfulness or spot meditation when you clean your teeth each morning: mindfully note how your arm and hand reach for your toothbrush, how the brush feels in your hand, the texture and shape and colour of it; and do the same with the toothpaste tube and its contents; observe the colours and design on the tube, the way it yields its contents as you squeeze the paste out of the tube, and the minty aroma; notice the sensation of the brush and the paste once in your mouth; is there a zinging sensation? Enjoy it. Check to make sure you are not already holding unnecessary tension in your body by gripping hard onto the toothbrush as you clean? Appreciate and give thanks for the fact that you have both water and toothpaste etc to use each day, and how good it feels to clean your teeth first thing in the morning! (More than 1 billion people around the world can’t access clean drinking water, while more than 2 million people die from drinking contaminated water every year.)

Start your day off by experiencing yourself in each moment like this, experiencing yourself as a human BEING, rather than a human ‘DOING’. Most often, we are the latter, performing one mindless activity after another at this time of day including getting dressed, eating breakfast, travelling to work…etc. You will not only enrich your life beyond words, but it will give you a head start for the rest of your day to remain calm, unstressed and relaxed. It’s like putting savings into your wellbeing account.

TRY: taking a conscious break at work , and drink a glass of water as an act of mindful meditation. Even the act of going to get it, done consciously, and with awareness in the present moment, will begin to reduce tension and rejuvenate you. So, be aware of how you get up from your chair, how you move, if you need to stretch and what that feels like in your body. Observe how your body feels as you walk to fetch the glass of water. How do your feet feel in contact with the floor? Are you fully supported by the floor? Or are you actually holding part of your body ‘up’ as you walk along, and not allowing the floor to take your complete weight? It’s surprising how often this is the case.  Be aware of how your arm reaches out to hold the glass or container………. what does the water sound like as it fills the cup? ………….  how does the container feel against your hand? ……… is it cold? is it neutral? ……….. consciously decide where you would like to be when you begin to drink the water……….. feel the touch of the glass or plastic cup against your lips…………. feel the taste and sensation of the water once it is in your mouth……….. as you swallow ……………. taste each sip slowly and mindfully …………. ……… and when it is finished, be aware of the movement of your body/arm as you move to place the empty container in the bin………. be aware of the noise it makes when it falls …………. and return to your work refreshed and rebalanced.

You can make your conscious break anything you like, for example making a cup of coffee, or eating some fruit etc. If you are going to eat a piece of fruit, then make sure you are really DOING what you are doing, each moment of the way. Focus completely on the task in hand. Feel the pleasing texture and shape of, say, an apple when it is in your hand; observe the vibrant red/green colour; and really experience the sensation of biting into it, hearing and feeling the crispness and crunch as you do so; observe the difference in the texture and colour of the apple skin compared to the flesh inside. When you reach the core, appreciate the seeds, in the knowledge that Nature’s perfect mechanisms ensure there is always an apple for you to eat during a break from work.

Or in the case of a banana, stop and notice the shape and colour, and the aroma of the outer skin, before you mindlessly peel away and eat. Be aware of the ease (or not) with which the outer skin peels away from the sweet, paler flesh inside, and enjoy the sensation of taking a bite and fully savouring the luscious taste and texture of it once inside your mouth; continue to eat mindfully, in the present moment,appreciating every step of the way.

You will discover that the magic of being completely in the present moment makes a break of only a few minutes as powerful, say, as a break of, an hour of mindless activity. You can return to your desk or your work refreshed, with you mind and body alert and recharged.

TRY: Walking as an act of meditation. You can walk with the intention of staying in the present. In practice, this means you consciously focus for a few seconds on whatever sense data catches your mind. You stay with it until something else engages your focus. It could be the feel of your footsteps as they connect with the ground you are walking on; or it could the sound of distant traffic; or, if you are outside, the feel of the wind on your face; or the smell of the grass or the trees; the way your body feels as you move; the feeling of your breathing; or the sight and sound of birds in the sky….. Stay with each sensation for long enough to really enjoy it – at least 10 seconds, and preferably more. If you skim and don’t retain your focus as described, you will find the mind is likely to get distracted and will entertain other thoughts as well………and you’ll bypass the rejuvenating power and intensity of living in the moment.  You don’t have to be walking outside to reap the benefit of walking mindfully: you can do this just as effectively walking from one office to another, or walking to the lift and moving from one floor to another. Simply stay with each movement with as much awareness as you can, noting how your body feels – each limb, and then from top to bottom – and absorb every detail of your surroundings as you pass by – the sounds, the textures, the shapes, the aromas, etc. Each time you bring yourself back into the present moment, you are putting savings into your wellbeing account.

While stuck in traffic………

When put on ‘hold’ during a frustrating phone call……..

Waiting in your doctor’s waiting room………

When someone says something which bothers you…….

Digging in the garden……………..

At red lights………………..

Waiting for a phone call……………..

In the dentist’s chair…………….

When you feel overwhelmed by what you need to accomplish…………..

While standing in line ………………….

When in pain………………..

When in a long meeting

THE ONLY TIME THAT ‘SPOT’ MEDITATIONS’ OR ‘MINIS’ DO NOT WORK IS WHEN YOU FORGET TO DO THEM!

By Kate Mathers

2 August, 2009

Hello dearest Diane

Thank you for your letter. I respect and admire your honesty and courage. It is always difficult to say sorry when we feel someone has wronged us.

Like you, I have had a while now to think about all that has happened, and to wonder firstly, how such a ghastly experience for both of us occurred, and why?

The obvious answers are the blame stories – you felt that I wronged you, and in turn, I felt you wronged me.

But we both know that this is only the surface appearance, and, as you shared in your letter to me, there are deeper hidden hurts and wounds, as yet unhealed, that current events trigger so that we can look at them, and have an opportunity to heal them. And this applies just as much to me, as to you. Initially, of course, it is easy to see our pain as simply the fault of the person who has made us unhappy. But I believe that we have both done enough work on ourselves over the last 20 years to understand that there is more to it than that.

I will speak about me and my feelings, and what I have come to understand is truth for me about this whole situation that we have somehow created.

But first, as I have said before, and I will say again, I am truly sorry for any hurt that my inaction caused you.

Second, some background.

Initially, when I received your first skype message, I was sitting at my computer, finishing something off for my blog. It was a supreme irony that that was the day that you sent the message, as I had actually been planning to phone you after I had cooked dinner (your skype arrived about 6pm). I had been meaning to call ever since I got back to Sydney, and I have no big reason that prevented me, simply that I returned exhausted from the tasks in the UK, to an incredibly busy time here, both family- and workwise. So me not phoning you was simply that I was knackered, both emotionally and physically, and especially by the evening (the only time we could talk) when combined with jetlag.

Having said all that, there is still no reason why I hadn’t emailed you or connected with you in some way, which is what has made me reflect deeply on the real significance of this whole situation, and what it could mean?

It’s true that I didn’t contact you while in the UK, and I can now see how hurt that made you feel, and that you felt you weren’t important in my life. Funnily enough, and this might sound strange, but the opposite is, in fact, true. We had had a good chat just before I left here, and left it that I would get in touch with you, as you couldn’t make the girls’ weekend at the beginning of my stay. It’s true, that I could have called you on any evening, and I have no real reason to know why I didn’t – other than sheer exhaustion and tiredness at the end of each day, and that I didn’t phone anyone at all in the evenings. I just poured myself a glass of wine and collapsed on the sofa.  But for that omission I am very sorry. I would never willingly or knowingly hurt anybody, let alone someone I love as much as you.

I’ve come to understand that your condemning skype messages were such a physical, mental and emotional shock to me, and caused such fear in me, because I had honestly thought that our relationship was so solid, and so deep, that if one of us hadn’t called the other – even if they had said they would – we would both know that it didn’t mean anything sinister, and that ‘life’ had simply got in the way, and that the other would simply be able to pick up the phone or send a text saying “Hey, what’s going on? You said you would call, and you haven’t!” 

So then when I received the second message, with a whole list of things blaming me for not behaving in the way you would like for years, I was absolutely horrified, deeply hurt and shocked, and I simply didn’t recognize the Diane that I have known anywhere in it.

Having said all of that, there is absolutely no blame attached to you in any way in any of the above. I am just stating honestly how that period of time – the UK visit and the initial two weeks back here – was for me. And hoping that you may come to understand that me not contacting you really wasn’t about not valuing you or caring about you – I was so sure of the depth and love and trust in our relationship that I never expected there to be a problem, let alone one of the magnitude that occurred, on that fateful night here when I was finally getting around to making sure I called you. I honestly had simply thought that with your move to London, and with your important guest arriving soon, you had most likely been as busy as I was, and that we would catch up with a really good chat soon. But I was wrong, and also left it too late. Your messages arrived……

Now, after receiving your letter, I am able to understand why you weren’t able to pick up the phone and text/call me in the way I describe above – irrespective of who was supposed to be calling who -  because I was triggering for you the deep wound of abandonment caused you by your father. So the hurt for you was immense and out of all proportion. Slowly, it is all beginning to make more sense to me.

As I said at the beginning, I think it is very courageous of you to look deeper into this situation, and discover that the sense of abandonment initially caused you by your father leaving you aged 1, is something that you began to transfer on to me. And I now appreciate that that wound would have been nearer to the surface than normal, with the stress of the move to London, etc etc.

One of the things that I have learnt from this, is that I took our relationship too much for granted, and that I do need to make sure that I contact you at times in your life that are to do with change, irrespective of what is going on in my life.

I say that my description of how the situation was for me is not about blaming in any way, because I have realized – after several weeks of being eaten up, and absolutely consumed by the pain and grief and shock of it all, unable to focus much on anything else – that there is no longer any point in apportioning blame. I realized more than anything, that we both needed freeingfrom being in the victim state.

I have come to realise that for me, the only question that matters is:

“Do I still want Diane in my life?”

And the answer for me is a resounding “Yes”.

You will have to make up your own mind if you still want me in yours.

I learnt the importance of this question from a time that was difficult for me last year. When I think about it, it is not unlike what has happened between us. I was venturing into uncharted waters with my new courses on self-realisation, and in the weeks leading up to the launch I was frantically busy and apprehensive at times at what I had taken on, etc etc, and was grateful for any support from my friends here. As the launch got nearer and nearer, and I realized that I had not heard a word from a close friend here for over 6 weeks – plus I had felt for a while that it always seemed to be me calling her rather than the other way round – I felt increasingly hurt. She is normally a thoughtful and kind person, so I kept hoping that she would call, but the launch came and went and still no contact. I was very hurt and blamed her for my sadness at what should have been a time of great happiness. It was all the more hurtful, as she, perhaps more than anyone else here, understood how challenging it was for me to publicly walk my talk.

In the end, two weeks after the launch, I called another friend Fleur – who is a mutual close friend  – and shared how I felt. Fleur pointed out that she doubted very much that any of the above was intentional, and that there was probably some innocent explanation. Fleur said that she knew Amber valued my friendship highly. She then said something incredibly wise: “Kate, if you feel like this, I think you have to decide whether you want to keep Amber in your life. Or move on without her. If you want to keep her, then you may have to be the one to make the first move, and just swallow your hurt and accept that sometimes these things happen between friends.”

I thought about Fleur’s words for a day or so, and decided that I did want to keep Amber in my life. So I sat down at the computer, and wrote her a short email, saying that it had been ages since I had heard from her, and that I wanted to check she was ok. I said that I hoped the lack of hearing from her was simply because she had been busy at work, and not connected with anything like illness or family problems. I briefly mentioned that the launch had gone welI and the future looked promising, and ended by saying that I was looking forward to getting together sometime soon.

I had a phone call almost immediately after I had pressed the send button. She was mortified that she had missed the date of my launch, had thought it was later in the month, and was very apologetic. She explained that she had been busy with her members of her extended family, several of whom had been very unwell. I guess our friends are never perfect, as we ourselves are not; but if we are truly  friends, we forgive each other our imperfections.

So, thank God for Fleur’s words, otherwise I might still be smarting and hurting from my perceived hurt caused by Amber’s seeming indifference, and blaming her as the cause of my unhappiness.

It confirmed for me that happiness is an inside job. There is no point in us looking outside ourselves at people/circumstances/situations for our happiness and our peace. It has to be found within.

I said earlier that I have been asking for the bigger perspective on all of this.

I have asked the universe, and my soul, many times in the last weeks “What is this situation between Diane and me really about?”

Finally, I think I got it. I came to understand – given we are obviously from the same soul group, with our intimate connection and friendship over the last 13 years – that we had agreed, as souls, to provide each other this lifetime with an opportunity to heal our deepest wounds. We loved each other enough to set up a situation that would test us hugely; that would hurt us deeply; but if we proved equal to the lesson, then our souls could learn powerful lessons, and heal deep wounds. My soul could learn the meaning of true forgiveness, and all that that encompasses; understand the true meaning of loving and accepting myself as a whole, beautiful being (as we all are); and transform the feelings of terror and pain (that I had on receiving your messages) of not being good enough, into knowing that I don’t have to rely on outside approval, and that happiness and peace are an inside job.

For me, I think the hardest thing has been learning real forgiveness. Not some academic ‘thinking’ that I could forgive, but a REAL, deep, total forgiveness in all the cells of my body, and from a place deep in my heart; a feeling of deep love for you, where I am no longer interested in what you have done, or what I have done, but simply knowing and understanding with my heart intelligence that there is no separation; we are all one. And the understanding that if I couldn’t forgive you, then I would never again be completely free, as I would still remain in the victim state. I would always be caught up in, and attached to the blame story.

So I sincerely thank you for the opportunity you have given me to learn true forgiveness. I have often thought of this quote during this painful time – and you might like it too: “Whenever God closes one door, he always opens another. Even though it’s sometimes Hell in the hallway.”

Several things helped me get to this point. Synchronicity, as always. I happened to be listening to a Meditation CD that someone had given me in the car – it had ten different teachers on it – and one day I got to a meditation on Forgiveness, with Michael Bernard Beckwith. It impacted me hugely, in relation to what had happened between us, and I understood that it was an important message for me. I have transcribed it from the CD into long hand, and then typed it up, as I wanted to be able to share it with you. Don’t know whether it will resonate, but it is attached. That prompted me to remember that I had studied Forgiveness at NatureCare College 10 years ago while I was studying Energetic Healing. I dug out my notes. What was written there was again powerful and so appropriate for right now. Especially this:

“Forgiveness : definition is freeing yourself from the victim state.

 All the while you cannot forgive, you are blaming and all the while you are blaming you are their victim. You have no power. They control your emotional state. You are enchained with them. (on the emotional level, remember same attracts same)

Forgiveness is freedom for you.

Look at things from the larger perspective, nothing to forgive. The person was just teaching you something – you thank them.  Know that they were put there on the path because this is part of your journey anyway – choose to take this perspective – so nothing actually to forgive.

If forgiveness is proving difficult for you, ask:

What do I gain by holding on to this heavy negative emotion? This anger, raging?

If I were to let go of this right now, what would be the consequence? Maybe need to keep something of that energy in order to transform it?”

and

“SELF-LOVE means caring enough for ourselves to forgive people in our past so that the wounds can no longer damage us – for our wounds do not hurt the people that hurt us, they hurt only us.”

Perhaps all of the above also applies to healing the deep wound of abandonment that has reared its head again for you in all of this. Maybe it would be possible to heal totally by forgiving your dad both for what he did, and for the person he was and is. Please don’t be offended and feel that I am telling you what to do here; it is simply a suggestion that may or may not help.

I have just realized that I have written pages and pages – and I have spent all day today doing it. It’s now 9pm and I started at 11am!

I hope that this speaks from my heart to yours.

Love to you Diane,

Kate

x